Let’s be Real


A couple weeks ago, my husband asked if I would speak during the message portion of a prayer and worship night. My initial reaction was a big loud “HECK NO!”, followed by a million excuses for why I’m the last person he should ask to speak.

I mean, c’mon, nobody wants to hear a story that doesn’t have a happy ending yet… That was the first lie.

Besides, God and I aren’t really that tight right now. Lie #2.

I can’t say anything meaningful while I’m still battling with my own doubt. Lie #3.

I don’t have any spiritual insight worth hearing. Lie #4.

I don’t want to burden others with my own suffering. Lie #5.

Need I continue? You get the picture.

My husband challenged me to pray about it, and as I sought for an answer, the Spirit lead me to 2 Timothy 3: 14-15

“But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.”

and then I turned back to 2 Timothy 2:13 and read outloud,

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful still.”

Even though I feel like my faith has been rocked, that I failed God as soon the road got tough, I KNOW IN WHOM I BELIEVE. My God has a relationship with me, and He has never once let me go.

And for that reason alone, I share with you now what I shared with them on that anointed Saturday night.

If you’ve got 30 minutes, sit down, grab your Bible and some coffee, and listen HERE.

While I do apologize for the blubbering and for the poor recording quality, I will not apologize for being REAL.

May God receive all the glory.




Anticipating Worship

Every Sunday I take my place in front of our small, enthusiastic fellowship with a bubbling in my body. With a growing pretense for what is about to happen.

It’s near to impossible to try and put this feeling into words, so the best way to describe it is similar to when you shake an unopened bottle of carbonated soda, it rises and fizzles but stays contained. The effect of the created threatening pressure is visibly noticed. Then, with one slight twist of the bottle cap, everything is released you’re met with an explosion of overflowing foam.

As soon as the guitar plugs in and the keys start to tinkle, the contents of my heart excitedly fizzle to the brim. Next, the body comes to it’s feet, opens it’s mouth, and raises it’s hands. Bubbles push at the lid. Our anthem rings out, and all the prayers, Truth, and Presence that shook in me all morning long finally burst out of the built-up call to worship. A force that cannot be contained.

Jesus talks about it as a wind… “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” (John 3:8)

Worship is a reaction to this Wind that is already in me, stirring up praise, and breathing revelations.

When I worship, I surrender to divine strength as the Wind moves me into a mighty storm of grace, power, adoration, and awe. It swings me into the heavens. It softly whispers love, and it roars the glory of my King. It blows through the room leaving nothing untousled, consuming me as I am. It pushes against my muscles and forces me to my knees, and I am unable to withstand the glory into which I’ve been swept up.

I don’t know about you, but this, THIS get me excited to encounter His presence. Glory to God!