“Guess Date”

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When our baby decided he wasn’t going to show his face on his due date, I couldn’t help but be a little disappointed. After waiting 9 months, I didn’t think I could wait any longer to meet my baby boy!

A friend of mine told me they had been encouraged to refer to their due date as a “guess” date, and boy do I see wisdom behind that kind of reasoning.

As a first time mom, I’ve been doing plenty of research so I can know what to expect. I demolished a tower of pregnancy books, scarfed down motherhood blogs like brownie crumbs, and even started following other moms and their cute organic-clothed babies on Instagram. I would be prepared.

In addition, my current position has me assisting and doing life with other expecting moms. There’s a weekly prenatal class I attend that allows me to support new moms through their pregnancies, teaching them about the labor process, answering their questions about their growing bellies, and calming their worries when their babies don’t come on their due date. In fact, I put a lot of emphasis to make sure they know that “It’s completely normal and perfectly fine for a baby (without any risks) to be born 2 weeks after expected,” and then I add, “don’t rush to be induced!”

If only I could calm my worries as well as I think I help calm theirs!

As educated as I think I am on birth, waiting for the much-anticipated labor signs only to go to bed after an un-eventful day or wake up the next morning still pregnant… well, it definitely becomes a mental game.

At my last check-up, the doctor began talking to me about what steps we would take if the baby didn’t come by such-and-such date. I got pretty upset but put on a smile and politely said “I don’t want to think about that right now.” A firm believer in natural, non-intervention birth, my hopes and dreams for how this baby would be born do not include being committed to a hospital bed hooked to an IV-drip with a monitor strapped to my belly.

No. Thank. You.

I know that birth is a beautiful miracle, No. Matter. What.

However, I was not about to let my doctor hijack my birth plan because our baby decided he wanted to cook a few more days.

But because he brought it up, we had to think about it. And the thinking about it came with a rush of doubts and to be honest, a little bit of depression.

The daily question of “Why won’t he just come?” dug up emotions similar to when the daily question used to be (and still is, sometimes) “Why won’t God just heal me?” Feeling like nothing is ever going to change, I’m never going to be able to do the activities I used to do, like my whole life is on hold, like I’m not accomplishing anything…

These emotions merely point out what a self-centered, idolatrous human I am.

So what if my body is never healed and my feet always hurt? God will still use it for His glory.

Was having a broken ankle part of my plan for my dream wedding day? Most definitely not. Did it ruin the wedding? It most definitely did not. In fact, that day was one of the holiest experiences of my life.

So what if my baby isn’t introduced into the world the way I’ve always imagined? God will still use it for His glory, and my baby will get to play a part in His beautiful story.

For, the due date truly is just a guess date, and I’d much prefer my baby to be born on “God’s Date.”

Whenever that may be….


My Belly Buddy


At 39 weeks pregnant, I felt the urgency to capture a few shots of me and my belly buddy. ‘He might not be in there for much longer!’ I exclaimed.

A few Braxton Hicks contractions had sent me into false hope, but also gave me the bittersweet realization that the pregnancy was almost over. Carrying and growing this babe inside me has truly been one of life’s deepest joys.

From when I saw those two pink lines appear, I went from absolutely amazed to completely in love at our first ultrasound appointment when we saw his bean-sized little body.

The beauty of our miracle merely expounded upon every milestone reached.

I rejoiced at all the firsts: hearing his heartbeat, learning his gender, and feeling him flutter —to which I often wondered, was that actually my baby, or just my lunch?

Up until feeling him kick, I must admit to the anxious spirit of a new mother… ‘How is he? Is he still okay in there?’

I would constantly question every day of growth, holding my breath as I counted down to the next doctor appointment where I would then exhale at seeing images of our baby on the black and white screen.

Although I knew these were normal fears to be having, I was ashamed of my desperate need to see proof as I let my thoughts get the best of me. Fear can be an ugly thing. I didn’t want the incredible mystery of life inside me to become any less God-glorifying, meaning, the gloomy cloud of doubt had to go.

Expressing my fears to my husband helped. But only by way of continual surrender to the Creator of all living things did I begin to feel freedom and joy in his beginning months of development.

Oh, and then when he started kicking me on a regular basis… how those jabs also served to calm my questioning mind.


Watching my belly get bigger and bigger gave me such pride, and as we got closer to the last trimester, such discomfort! Sitting in one position for too long would make my legs go numb. Sleeping became a ritual of tossing and turning and getting up to pee all night long. I almost think I’ll be able to get more sleep once he’s here! Who am I kidding…

There are definitely aspects about pregnancy I won’t miss, but among many other wonderful experiences during the past 9 months, I will indeed miss the close intimacy and constant rubbing of my belly buddy. 🙂

However, I am very much looking forward to what’s around the corner! Going into labor, holding our son to my chest, giving him a name, kissing his sweet face, changing his poopy diapers… So far, it’s all just been talk talk talk. Not for long!

Baby boy, how you’re about to dramatically change our lives for the better!


Soon to be a family of THREE!

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As we anticipate the arrival of the newest family member, I can hardly believe that we’re going to meet our SON so soon!

Looking back on the past nine months, I’d say it went fairly well.

Although, having nothing to compare pregnancy too, I’m not sure what my expectations were.

I knew my belly was going to get huge, but it actually didn’t get as big as I’d imagined. I knew morning sickness could be hit-or-miss, and for me, it was exactly that. Mornings were difficult, however I was still able to cope and function my way to lunchtime.

Did I have cravings? More like aversions! If my husband would simply say “broccoli” out-loud it would make me gag. The same gag that happened every day while trying to swallow my pre-natal vitamins… Who knew, the supplement queen and veggie-lover would struggle with these two very things? As it goes, these are the things women are told to increase in their diets during pregnancy, both of which I found problematic and near to impossible!

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Despite eating meat and potatoes (usually in the form of french fries) for the majority of my meals, when blood test results came back, my iron level was an 8! While this explained the low energy and dizziness I felt throughout the day, it stressed me out since I thought I was eating enough red meat as it was.

So my sweet husband went out and purchased a cheap coal grill, and I feasted on delicious home-made burgers and kebabs. We also splurged and made special trips to Shake Shack as well as frequented a mini burger eatery a few Sundays in a row…

I added an extra iron supplement, and after a month finally began to feel its effects. Unfortunately I ran out a week before the due date and have to wait for my parents to bring more with them when they visit after the baby is born.


Pregnancy, aside from the general aches and pains, was quite an enjoyable first-time experience. It helps that I have the most incredible, loving husband who is just as excited as I am about the bundle growing inside me. It’s clear, I picked a good one:)

And he’s going to be the best dad. 🙂

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Yes, I realize I’m wearing the same outfit for these pictures as I did for the pictures we took in Spain… I guess I didn’t feel the need to buy more than one “picture-taking” maternity dress!