Jesse and I arrived here 6 days ago.
What’s amazing is that in those 6 days we have found an apartment, basically been able to reconnect with most of our friends, lead a God honoring worship service, re-introduce myself to the refugee community, hold a dozen babies, have multiple truth conversations, and eat all our favorite cultural foods.
Whew. All in less than a week.
Our friends keep saying to me, “It’s like you never left.”
Indeed. In many ways, being back feels fairly normal. Public transportation, walking miles upon miles, frequent cups of tea, city noises and smells… nothing has phased me yet. Even the language isn’t totally unfamiliar; surprisingly, words have naturally been formulating themselves into somewhat sensical sentences during both friendly and not-so-friendly exchanges.
All the typical day-to-day occurences seem less foreign than I would have expected after being gone for 9 months.
Returning feels right.
Returning also feels different.
New apartment. New neighborhood. New job. New roles. New husband. New team.
Granted we haven’t even been here for a week yet, but my sense of identity definitely appears to be looming beyond my reach. I can already feel the discomfort setting in. It’s obvious I can’t just pop back into the groove I left behind. No, it’s going to be another season of stretching and growing and shaping and molding– an exercise I’m more than acquainted with.
Just thinking about it sends butterflies to my stomach. Uuuuffya. Part of me wishes I could fast forward to a year from now, if only to see the niche where my husband and I will arrive. However, the other part of me knows that seasons like these are worth so much more than the end result.
Worth lies in the stretching and growing and shaping and molding– where the new me will spring from. Everything shall play its part: the surprises, disappointments, successes, and trials… all of which God allows my life to entail.
As a new wife in a new season, I could very easily overwhelm myself with my long list of uncertainties, unknowns, fears, and doubts for the future. Instead, I’m choosing to head into this season excitedly and prayerfully, fully aware of the journey we have embarked on, casting all my cares upon the Lord.
David said it wonderfully:
“Wait patiently for the Lord. Be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.”