Judah’s Birth Story: Part 1

I woke up on March 22nd still pregnant and disappointed I hadn’t gone into labor during the middle of the night. I felt slightly crampy, but I associated it with the membrane sweep I had the doctor perform the day before (a natural inducing method). So I showered then proceeded to eat breakfast.

Around 10:30am I realized the cramps were getting worse and somewhat segmented. Thankfully, my husband’s work plans that day had fallen through, so he was at home. I called out for him to come over and nervously told him the cramps were turning into contractions… “But I’m not 100% sure. It could just still be cramps…” As I spoke, I began getting emotional. The idea of what could finally be happening overwhelmed me with a rush of tears. To my surprise, I suddenly felt very scared.

Like the incredible man he is, my best friend leaned his face closer to mine, looked me square in the eyes, and told me that I was ready, I was strong, and that he was going to be right beside me the whole time. Then he put his arm around me and surrendered it all the Lord, thanking our Father that this day had come, praying for protection and for a safe delivery.

Knowing this could be it, we got busy cleaning the house. I was on my knees washing the kitchen floor when the contractions got a little too intense for me to be able to continue. So I decided to focus on packing my “just in case” hospital bag instead. Pausing for contractions, I finished packing. Whew. It felt good to cross that off the check-list.

Then the girls came over for bible study around 1pm, shocked that I still wanted to meet! Honestly, having them over was a good distraction, it was just the encouragement I needed and I got 2 hours of contractions out of the way….
I FaceTimed my mom– wishing she could be here with me!

When I had imagined going into labor I always envisioned going on a walk, and then making a cheesecake to celebrate and enjoy once the babe was born. I laid down on the couch to time my contractions before going out on the walk, and my husband got our “birthing corner” ready. He put a mattress cover and tarp over the designated futon, moved the kitchen table out of the way, and set up all the random towels and buckets and plastic bags. It was almost 4pm.


As he was setting up, the contractions got a little more unbearable. But according to the timer app on my phone, they weren’t close enough together. I felt like a wimp– if I couldn’t handle these early contractions, how would I do later on? Being that I didn’t want to get off the couch, we X-ed the walk and I moved over to the futon. Jesse helped me to relax using the massage technique we learned in the Bradley Method book…

I really struggled to relax, but what helped me the most during this time was focusing on the sound of his voice. As they progressed, all I wanted was for him to apply pressure on my lower back.

And then I threw up. 3 times.

Jesse had asked me earlier why we had needed to buy 2 buckets. That’s why, hunnie.

A friend stopped by around 6pm to help with some massage reflexology that’s said to speed the process up. She worked on my feet while Jesse ate dinner, coming to my aid when I needed him to push on my back. Suddenly it seemed like he barely got a bite in before I was yelling out a contraction was starting again.

It was then we realized we had been timing the contractions wrong, and I was further along than we thought.

Around 7:00pm we called give my doula an update, and since she lives close she decided to swing by and check-in on me.  Seeing where I was at, she called the other friend whom I wanted attending the birth, and then we called the doctor. He arrived around 8:30pm.

I attempted to stay relaxed and in control by taking deep breaths and letting them out with constant, low moans, riding the contraction like a wave, breathing out until I reached the shore.

I was so focused that later I found out my birthing team had been laughing and making fun of my bossy, controlling attitude. They were taking turns applying pressure on my back, and apparently whenever they paused even to scratch an itch or weren’t pressing hard enough nor in the right spot I let them know very quickly!

The transition happened fast…


“Guess Date”

Screen Shot 2017-03-20 at 5.59.16 PM

When our baby decided he wasn’t going to show his face on his due date, I couldn’t help but be a little disappointed. After waiting 9 months, I didn’t think I could wait any longer to meet my baby boy!

A friend of mine told me they had been encouraged to refer to their due date as a “guess” date, and boy do I see wisdom behind that kind of reasoning.

As a first time mom, I’ve been doing plenty of research so I can know what to expect. I demolished a tower of pregnancy books, scarfed down motherhood blogs like brownie crumbs, and even started following other moms and their cute organic-clothed babies on Instagram. I would be prepared.

In addition, my current position has me assisting and doing life with other expecting moms. There’s a weekly prenatal class I attend that allows me to support new moms through their pregnancies, teaching them about the labor process, answering their questions about their growing bellies, and calming their worries when their babies don’t come on their due date. In fact, I put a lot of emphasis to make sure they know that “It’s completely normal and perfectly fine for a baby (without any risks) to be born 2 weeks after expected,” and then I add, “don’t rush to be induced!”

If only I could calm my worries as well as I think I help calm theirs!

As educated as I think I am on birth, waiting for the much-anticipated labor signs only to go to bed after an un-eventful day or wake up the next morning still pregnant… well, it definitely becomes a mental game.

At my last check-up, the doctor began talking to me about what steps we would take if the baby didn’t come by such-and-such date. I got pretty upset but put on a smile and politely said “I don’t want to think about that right now.” A firm believer in natural, non-intervention birth, my hopes and dreams for how this baby would be born do not include being committed to a hospital bed hooked to an IV-drip with a monitor strapped to my belly.

No. Thank. You.

I know that birth is a beautiful miracle, No. Matter. What.

However, I was not about to let my doctor hijack my birth plan because our baby decided he wanted to cook a few more days.

But because he brought it up, we had to think about it. And the thinking about it came with a rush of doubts and to be honest, a little bit of depression.

The daily question of “Why won’t he just come?” dug up emotions similar to when the daily question used to be (and still is, sometimes) “Why won’t God just heal me?” Feeling like nothing is ever going to change, I’m never going to be able to do the activities I used to do, like my whole life is on hold, like I’m not accomplishing anything…

These emotions merely point out what a self-centered, idolatrous human I am.

So what if my body is never healed and my feet always hurt? God will still use it for His glory.

Was having a broken ankle part of my plan for my dream wedding day? Most definitely not. Did it ruin the wedding? It most definitely did not. In fact, that day was one of the holiest experiences of my life.

So what if my baby isn’t introduced into the world the way I’ve always imagined? God will still use it for His glory, and my baby will get to play a part in His beautiful story.

For, the due date truly is just a guess date, and I’d much prefer my baby to be born on “God’s Date.”

Whenever that may be….

My Belly Buddy


At 39 weeks pregnant, I felt the urgency to capture a few shots of me and my belly buddy. ‘He might not be in there for much longer!’ I exclaimed.

A few Braxton Hicks contractions had sent me into false hope, but also gave me the bittersweet realization that the pregnancy was almost over. Carrying and growing this babe inside me has truly been one of life’s deepest joys.

From when I saw those two pink lines appear, I went from absolutely amazed to completely in love at our first ultrasound appointment when we saw his bean-sized little body.

The beauty of our miracle merely expounded upon every milestone reached.

I rejoiced at all the firsts: hearing his heartbeat, learning his gender, and feeling him flutter —to which I often wondered, was that actually my baby, or just my lunch?

Up until feeling him kick, I must admit to the anxious spirit of a new mother… ‘How is he? Is he still okay in there?’

I would constantly question every day of growth, holding my breath as I counted down to the next doctor appointment where I would then exhale at seeing images of our baby on the black and white screen.

Although I knew these were normal fears to be having, I was ashamed of my desperate need to see proof as I let my thoughts get the best of me. Fear can be an ugly thing. I didn’t want the incredible mystery of life inside me to become any less God-glorifying, meaning, the gloomy cloud of doubt had to go.

Expressing my fears to my husband helped. But only by way of continual surrender to the Creator of all living things did I begin to feel freedom and joy in his beginning months of development.

Oh, and then when he started kicking me on a regular basis… how those jabs also served to calm my questioning mind.


Watching my belly get bigger and bigger gave me such pride, and as we got closer to the last trimester, such discomfort! Sitting in one position for too long would make my legs go numb. Sleeping became a ritual of tossing and turning and getting up to pee all night long. I almost think I’ll be able to get more sleep once he’s here! Who am I kidding…

There are definitely aspects about pregnancy I won’t miss, but among many other wonderful experiences during the past 9 months, I will indeed miss the close intimacy and constant rubbing of my belly buddy. 🙂

However, I am very much looking forward to what’s around the corner! Going into labor, holding our son to my chest, giving him a name, kissing his sweet face, changing his poopy diapers… So far, it’s all just been talk talk talk. Not for long!

Baby boy, how you’re about to dramatically change our lives for the better!


Soon to be a family of THREE!

ADP 2017 - Wards Jan -1

As we anticipate the arrival of the newest family member, I can hardly believe that we’re going to meet our SON so soon!

Looking back on the past nine months, I’d say it went fairly well.

Although, having nothing to compare pregnancy too, I’m not sure what my expectations were.

I knew my belly was going to get huge, but it actually didn’t get as big as I’d imagined. I knew morning sickness could be hit-or-miss, and for me, it was exactly that. Mornings were difficult, however I was still able to cope and function my way to lunchtime.

Did I have cravings? More like aversions! If my husband would simply say “broccoli” out-loud it would make me gag. The same gag that happened every day while trying to swallow my pre-natal vitamins… Who knew, the supplement queen and veggie-lover would struggle with these two very things? As it goes, these are the things women are told to increase in their diets during pregnancy, both of which I found problematic and near to impossible!

ADP 2017 - Wards Jan -22

Despite eating meat and potatoes (usually in the form of french fries) for the majority of my meals, when blood test results came back, my iron level was an 8! While this explained the low energy and dizziness I felt throughout the day, it stressed me out since I thought I was eating enough red meat as it was.

So my sweet husband went out and purchased a cheap coal grill, and I feasted on delicious home-made burgers and kebabs. We also splurged and made special trips to Shake Shack as well as frequented a mini burger eatery a few Sundays in a row…

I added an extra iron supplement, and after a month finally began to feel its effects. Unfortunately I ran out a week before the due date and have to wait for my parents to bring more with them when they visit after the baby is born.


Pregnancy, aside from the general aches and pains, was quite an enjoyable first-time experience. It helps that I have the most incredible, loving husband who is just as excited as I am about the bundle growing inside me. It’s clear, I picked a good one:)

And he’s going to be the best dad. 🙂

ADP 2017 - Wards Jan -17

Yes, I realize I’m wearing the same outfit for these pictures as I did for the pictures we took in Spain… I guess I didn’t feel the need to buy more than one “picture-taking” maternity dress!


It came about this summer, through a stressful transition with decisions having to be made about our future, when one day my sweet husband turned the focus off of the unknowns and unto a known fact: I had always dreamed of traveling to Spain together.

So, why not go this fall? He suggested out-of-the-blue. He’d been thinking about it for awhile, even flirted with the idea of making it a surprise. But seeing my emotional state and knowing how I love planning trips, he dropped it on me like the life raft I’d been needing.

Fast forward 2 months– although we had just moved overseas and into a new apartment, 23 weeks pregnant seemed to be the perfect time for a quick get away before our work responsibilities (and my belly) became too heavy. It also happened to be right around our 2 year anniversary. Another great excuse for a romantic excursion!

We started in Barcelona: I’d never been yet had always longed to see Gaudi’s famous Sagrada Familia. But first things first, in order to start the trip off right we dined downtown for a traditional Spanish paella! I had to pass on the sangria for now…


There were sites in Barcelona I hadn’t even known we needed to see– the Bunkers was one of them. We climbed towards the heavens, arriving at an overlook of beautiful sea and city. The wind whistling all around us made photo opps and conversion difficult, and as it was all we could do to try and not fly away, I bet our laughter roared louder than the wind!



Another comical account of our trip were the traffic lights. Not exaggerating- there were intersections every 100 meters, fully outfitted with stoplights. LOOOONG stoplights. If/when we took a wrong turn, we had to drive an hour on one-way streets to get to where we had started. Word of wisdom for all who travel to Barcelona: don’t rent a car.

Eventually we got to where we intended to go, including the Guell Palace where we simply gawked at Gaudi’s architectural genius for hours.

Once outside the city, however, we drove freely without stoplights, worrying only about stopping to pay tolls and savoring bites of gluten free goodies from Pastisserie Jansana.

Our GPS led us straight to the sea. We turned unto cobblestone and into a harbor of twinkle lights reflecting off the glassy water. It was even better than I had imagined.

In the morning, the sun rose over the mountains to reveal the quaintest of towns. Oh Cadaques, you were a dream.



White-washed buildings. Blue doors. Cappuccinos by the sea.

Cliffside pathways winding their way to the lighthouse. Sunsets and star gazing on rooftops.

I can close my eyes and still smell the salty air…



But our trip didn’t end there.

We made our way back down Costa Brava and went back in time to a quiet medieval village in Pals where we may have been the only tourists. We ate where the locals ate and frolicked through a maze of stone walls, caring only to be silly and free.


Continuing our journey through Girona, we spent our last couple nights in Begur. We wasted time exploring narrow streets and watching waves crash against the coast, idling however we pleased. We befriended spontaneity as this was our last foreseeable chance before the new babe changes our lives forever…



Captured one final sunset from the castle heights, we held our breaths as bowing rays reflected gold across the countryside. We said hello and goodnight to the rising moon, reluctant to acknowledge the end of our Catalan respite.



After a summer of crazy and a month of settling into a new life, by taking this time in Spain to pause, love each other, and let life slow down a bit, we finally felt like us again.

The us that I am so thankful for.

The us that is ready to soon grow from two to three!

Gender Reveal

A few days before journeying back overseas, we had a small party with family and close friends to reveal our baby’s gender…

Pink or Blue??

The guesses were pretty evenly split… though I’d say a few more leaned towards boy.


My mom and grandma decorated everything so cute and festive!

Jesse and I found out the gender at the doctor’s appointment, so the reveal was to announce it to our loved ones. While it was fun having a secret to ourselves, I think for Baby #2 I want someone to reveal it to us…

For the Big Reveal, we had a party store fill a balloon with the appropriate color confetti, and…





It’s a BOY!!!!!!!!!



And a wiggly boy at that!!!

We were so grateful to be surrounded by loved ones as we celebrated our Baby Boy before packing our bags for this next season.

It is clearly evident that our Little One is already loved by so many…


Thank you everyone for your prayers as we prepare for his arrival!!!!

Now to think of a name….

First comes love, then comes marriage…

… then comes the baby in the baby carriage!

613 days after saying “I do”, two pink lines appeared on a stick.

July 7th, 2016 could easily be the 2nd happiest day of my life.


We’re pregnant!


Waiting to share our news was one of the toughest secrets I’ve ever had to keep, especially when morning sickness started to make itself present around week 6…

We told our immediate family at 8 weeks, right after we’d had our first check-up and ultrasound.

Now at 15 weeks, we’re telling the world!!!


The announcement called for a photo shoot with none other than the shoes we started our adventure with… Chacos! Unfortunately, while I was searching online, I realized their smallest size sandal would be too big for our needs. So, the $5 sandals from Old Navy would just have to do. We’ll buy our baby Chacos when they can actually walk…

Photo Credit goes to my friend Lindsay, who being 8 months pregnant at the time, squatted down to get the perfect angle of our feet. And although our faces were not in the photo, I was indeed smiling the whole time…


The photoshoot took place over Labor Day weekend while camping with friends down by the CDA River at Little North Fork, Post Falls, Idaho. For our nature loving selves, we couldn’t pick a better place to announce the addition to our growing family.

Can’t wait to bring our Little here in the future!