Fasting. Fear Not.

Fasting.

It’s something that I’ve always been weary of.

I never wanted to fast for fear there was an underlying motivation of losing weight in the process, and being a woman constantly battling destructive lies about her self-image, this fear kept me from practicing this particular spiritual discipline.

Undoubtedly, I wanted to fast for the right reasons.

Living in Istanbul has been stretching me to knock out my fears. One-by-one, Jesus has allowed me to tackle several that have come my way…

-Learning to speak the native language in a foreign country where nobody speaks English.
-Venturing into peoples’ hearts and homes to explore various avenues of how to offer aid of food, freedom, and forgiveness.
-Forgiving others and forgiving myself.
-Opening myself to a new relationship and becoming transparent in it.
-Loving myself. Loving him. Saying “yes” to spending the rest of my life with him.
-Making decisions about the future. Committing to a life far away from family and friends.

 

And now during this Easter season specifically, stretching me to surrender that fear of fasting to him. To go deeper. To trust in his Holy sovereignty and protection.

Working through these fears hasn’t been easy; there’s been some heavy stuff. However, if I don’t act in obedience, trust, and surrender, and instead let the what-if’s and unknowns get in the way of the best God has for me, my experience here would leave me sinking in a dark hole, oppressed and feeling defeated, non-existent. Non-threatening.

I can’t possibly do it on my own. Never for one second does God leave me, and never does He give up on me.

Fear? All it does is get in the way of my relationship with God, and that’s even more dangerous than the initial fear itself.

His desire for me is bigger than fear, for His perfect love casts out all fear. So, to conquer fear in His name is to be a threat FOR his name.

So, fasting. Bring it on God, stretch me more.

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